Purity Tests Are Dividing the Left—And It’s Time We Talk About It

Why we must embrace nuance, honor different paths of resistance, and stop demanding perfection in a world that desperately needs progress.

I was raised to see the world in black and white. Right or wrong. Good or bad. All or nothing.

That kind of thinking shaped my early years—and nearly destroyed me.

More than 25 years ago, I entered recovery from alcoholism.

At the time, I couldn’t yet articulate what was holding me back, but as I began to do the work of healing, I started to see how binary thinking had limited me.

How it had contributed to the pain I was trying to numb.

How it had pushed me to chase absolutes instead of learning to live in the gray spaces where real life happens.

Fifteen years later, I took a deeper dive into personal development.

Jack Canfield, the author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, became a client—and I eventually became a certified Canfield trainer.

That was the beginning of something powerful: an honest confrontation with my “shadow self.”

I started looking at the parts of me I’d spent years avoiding. It wasn’t always easy. In fact, it got harder.

My divorce forced even more growth. It was contentious, painful, and messy.

I was doing deep shadow work and EMDR therapy, facing truths I didn’t want to see.

Joining a men’s group cracked me open even further.

And being in a relationship with a certified emotions coach gave me new language and tools for understanding nuance—not just intellectually, but emotionally.

I say all of this to make something clear: I know what it's like to evolve.

I know what it means to face yourself.

And I know that growth doesn’t come from judgment—it comes from compassion, from accountability with grace, and from the willingness to wrestle with complexity.

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Enter the Purity Test Culture

As someone who identifies with the left, I’d heard people talk about the "purity tests" that can show up in progressive spaces—but I had never personally experienced it directed at me. Until recently.

I wrote a post about what to wear during a protest.

The intention was simple: offer guidance on how to stay safe.

Protestors are being targeted and doxxed simply for showing up. Covering your face, choosing neutral clothing, and knowing what to bring can make a real difference.

Some readers understood exactly what I was doing. Others? Not so much.

I was accused of being “self-serving” for including Amazon affiliate links to illustrate example products.

One person said the post was “a joke” and only someone destructive would cover their face.

They didn’t engage with the safety tips.

They didn’t offer alternative suggestions.

They dismissed the entire message because of a single choice I made to make it easier for people to take action.

Here’s the thing: I get the frustration with Amazon. I really do.

I understand why people are choosing full boycotts of companies that pulled back DEI initiatives or funded Trump.

That kind of economic resistance is powerful. And if you’re in a position to do that consistently, I respect it.

But not everyone has that luxury.

Not everyone has the time, capacity, or financial freedom to shop exclusively at values-aligned businesses, especially in moments of urgency.

Some folks are single parents.

Some are disabled.

Some are new to activism and just trying to figure out where to begin.

Do we really want to tell them their efforts don’t count unless they check every box?

Resistance Doesn’t Have to Look the Same

Here’s what I believe: We need all of it.

We need the full boycotts and the one-company-at-a-time approach.

We need the people shouting with their faces uncovered and the ones staying masked to avoid retaliation.

We need the marchers, the writers, the donors, the organizers, the quiet helpers behind the scenes.

If you can boycott every company that’s turned its back on DEI—please do.

If you can show up at protests with your face uncovered and your voice loud—amazing.

If what you can do is share a post, sign a petition, or stop supporting one business—that matters too.

Progress isn’t a purity contest. It’s a collective effort.

The right is unified in its hatred, and with its message.

It doesn’t demand ideological perfection from its followers.

Meanwhile, the left sometimes tears itself apart trying to root out anyone who doesn’t act or speak flawlessly.

We can—and should—hold strong to our values.

But let’s not weaponize them against people who are trying.

Let’s stop mistaking imperfect action for inaction.

Let’s meet each other where we are, encourage each other to do more when we can, and make space for everyone who’s showing up with a genuine heart.

Because if we don’t? We risk losing the very thing we’re fighting to protect: each other.

A Word on Opinions and Boundaries

With all that said, I believe people are absolutely entitled to their opinions.

Especially on social media and in open-comment spaces, it’s not just expected—it’s inevitable—that folks will weigh in from all angles. That’s the nature of the digital town square.

But just because we expect it doesn’t mean we have to absorb all of it.

Each of us gets to choose what energy we allow into our space.

For example, after I posted my guide on how to dress for a protest, the comments started getting heated.

One person began attacking others, calling them idiots.

That’s when I shut the comments down. Not because I’m afraid of disagreement—but because I have a responsibility to protect the kind of space I’m creating.

And to protect myself.

Cory Booker’s recent historic speech in the Senate reminded me that clarity and conviction don’t require defensiveness. We can stand firm in what we believe and hold the line on what we won’t accept.

That’s not censorship. That’s discernment. That’s self-respect.

Setting boundaries doesn’t make you fragile. It makes you intentional.

It keeps your fire burning for the things that truly matter—without letting the noise burn you out.

There’s Always More to Say

This is the third time I’ve come back to this post.

As the world keeps turning—and the conversations keep unfolding both online and off—I find myself constantly taking in new perspectives, layering them with my own, and sitting with the tension that growth demands.

No single post can say it all.

Especially when we’re talking about things as complex as purity culture, the messy beauty of differing opinions, and the discomfort that often signals transformation.

There’s more I want to say.

And I will—through upcoming posts that continue to explore these threads with honesty and depth.

Just like the deep dives many of you have come to expect from me—and generously support with your dollars.

We’re just getting started.

I’d love to hear your perspective.

Have you ever felt pressure to meet a “purity” standard in activism or advocacy?

How do you navigate nuance in your own efforts to make change?

Please drop a comment below—I welcome the conversation, and I believe we grow stronger when we share our stories.

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